Sunday, January 29, 2012

Why I will never get married again

I keep telling people I will never get married again and they never believe me. I may still be young and have plenty of time to marry again, but there are many reasons why I will never get married again. This doesn't mean I will never be in a relationship again, or never trust a man again or that I am a man hater. I just don't see why it is necessary to get married. I would probably say the main reason I feel this way is mostly b/c of money. It is costing me way more money to get divorce than it did when we got married Justice of the peace. Let me start from the beginning. I started taking over the car note once I got a job and Roy (my ex) started paying me child support. So when I went to pay the first car note online the website said I could not pay an online payment and I needed to call them, so I did. Come to find out Roy was behind on the notes and also had late fees so my first car note payment I pretty much paid 2 car notes that cost over $600. I did not have extra money laying around but I had to pay it. So I asked Roy for the extra money that I had to pay b/c I was only suppose to pay the car note from that month not his late fees and paying previous months. He said he didn't have it and to no big surprise I never got that money back almost a year later. He also took over the credit card payments on our credit cards that were originality in my name but I added him to the accounts to help his credit. And he was the one who charged on the accounts so he said he would pay them. Well come to find out he stopped paying on the accounts and also charged over $600 one month after he stopped paying on them. And when I asked him about those charges he said he "flipped out after he found out he was going to Iraq" I guess he felt that was enough reason to charge on a credit card that he stopped paying on a few months prior. So he said he was going to get everything handled for the divorce well then he deployed so it got put to hold. Then I found out we needed to file child support in the state where the child lives which is a different state where he is living so he could not do that part of the divorce in Tx. We went back a forth about it and he said he was gonna talk to this guy, make an appt for this, blah blah, but nothing ever got done. So I took it into my own hands to get the divorce done. That way I could get it done my way and could control what I wanted in the divorce. But I also had to pay for it. I also had to pick up where he left off in the credit cards and pay a couple hundred dollars just to get them turned back on since there was no payment on them for a few months. All this coming out of my pocket when I never charged on the damn cards. I was not the one who "flipped out." Guess what? Sometimes I feel like flipping out too but I can't b/c I am responsible for my actions and can't afford to "flip out" So I found out in the lawyers office that pretty much that debit that he charged was half ours b/c we were married. How fair is that? So let's break it down how much I have had to pay over the last year due to my soon to be ex husband.
$617.72 for the late car note
$231.00 on the discover card to cut is back on
$50.00 month of Jan on discover card
$100.00 on chase but I need to pay over $400 to keep it going to collection agency
$970.00 to the lawyer which I will prob end up paying him more by the time this is over.
So this divorce will prob cost me over $2,000 by the time this is all over and I will not see a dime of it back from soon to be ex husband. All he has paid is child support that is only for the support of his child not the extra cost that I had to pay due to his dumb ass. The money is just money but the fact that his morals suck so bad to think it is okay to charge on a credit card he stopped paying on and now has fucked up my credit just shows what a dumb ass he really is. But the real problem is Westin. I will get over this as time passes and I will have to deal, but Westin is stuck with him as a father and that saddens me the most. The fact that Westin's father never bothers to call him except on Christmas and his birthday or if I need to talk to him about the divorce he asks to talk to Westin. Never ever goes out of his way to call and make sure Westin is doing okay and that I cannot live with nor be okay with and I will beat myself up for reproducing with someone who does not do all the things a father should. I understand he is in the military so he does not get to see him every other weekend or even once a month but I believe that he can def do a whole lot better than seeing his son twice a year for only 10 days on each visit. I'm lucky Westin is young. But soon will come the questions. And I will not know how to answer them. And I will feel the pain of not picking a better father for Westin.


  1. Hey jade
    I promise it will get easier. My baby is now 19 her father was like your sons father except you at least get child support. The young years they think their dad is the best and it is hard on them to understand. After years of this happening they start to realize that they aren't the best and end upavoiding their calls. I never bad mouthed her father to her (that was hard) butit hard to see them go through it. Have faith I promise you will get though it and be stronger because of it!!!

  2. Jade, I'm really sorry you have to put up with this nonsense! You are a really good Mommy deserve a heck of lot more than this! Westin is a very lucky little guy to have a Mom that rocks! Keep it up Sweetie!

  3. Jade, I am so sorry you are going through this! You are an amazingly strong person and great role-model for your son! Hold your head up high because you are doing everything you can for Westin! He will see and appreciate it all when he's older!