Sunday, October 30, 2011
decision had to be made
Divorce is hard. No matter who's decision it was. In my case it was my decision, but that doesn't make it any easier for me. It doesn't mean that I can just pick up my life and move on from that day forward. There were things that happened that lead to my decision and some of those you can't just get over or move on over night. I am still trying to deal with some things. I still have anger, and resentment and wish badly upon my ex (not really, but kind of lol), but I'm not completely blaming him. These are MY issues that I need to get over and I'm not quiet sure how to do that. Are their steps I need to take? Vengeance I need to taken? Should I take the high school heart break route and burn all photos and clothes that I have of his? I guess it will just take time. And maybe deleting him off my facebook so I don't have to see how much he loves his girlfriend might help. His happiness or lack there of, shouldn't effect my mood or life, but in a way it does and I don't want it to anymore. I need to focus on me and my life and what makes me happy. And not have all those distractions. I am ready to move on and see what single/ single mom life has to offer. So far there have been many up's and down's, but Westin (my son) and I have been having a blast and he always makes my day no matter how crazy he can be on any given day. I just wished, for Westin's sake, that things could of turned out differently. But at some point I had to make a decision of do I want to cont to be so unhappy and miserable or do I want to change what makes me/ my life so unhappy and be happy again and enjoy life again. And that decision has been made.